January 29th, 2014

How To Love Me

Love me like comfort food Gravy on your mashed potatoes Shrimp with your grits Chicken in your soup Leftover spaghetti and warm garlic bread   Love me like a crack addiction
24 hours without me leaves you feenin for your next hit
Like potato chips after…

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January 18th, 2014

How to love me

Love me like comfort food
Gravy on your mashed potatoes
Shrimp with your grits
Chicken in your soup
Leftover spaghetti and warm garlic bread

Love me like a crack addiction
24 hours without me leaves you feenin for your next hit
Like potato chips after…

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January 1st, 2013
November 22nd, 2012
Married 60 years… #life #marriage #relationships #thankful #love

Married 60 years… #life #marriage #relationships #thankful #love

November 19th, 2012
The only thing worse than a man you can’t control is a man you can.
Margo Kaufman
September 26th, 2012

A letter to my ex…

Dear past love…

And I would like the record to reflect that I was in love with you.  Any comment you thought was a joke when I talked about us getting married was not.  I could see it.  Some days I could reach out and touch it because it was that real in…

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September 22nd, 2012

A letter to my future husband…

my love,

This morning I wished so hard that I was waking up in your arms… or at least next to you.  If we are married then I know that you are indeed truly something special.  I want to thank you for taking the time to try and understand me. I don’t for a…

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June 1st, 2012
March 4th, 2012

(Source: 24hrweddings)

February 25th, 2012

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose & buy a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! 

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: 

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs. She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: 

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. ‘That’s nice,’ she thinks, ‘but I want more.’ So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads: 

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. ‘Wow,’ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: 

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. ‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’ Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: 

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads: 

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exist solely as proof that you are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. 

PLEASE NOTE: To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives store just across the street. The first floor has wives that Love Sex. The second floor has wives that Love Sex, Have Money and Like Beer and Football. The third, fourth fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

February 17th, 2012

so let me get this straight… i can marry my third cousin & we gonna give a crackhead state honors cause she was talented…

but two unrelated adults can’t get married because it is going to destroy society…

Oh. Ok.


February 16th, 2012
Kenya’s legal same-sex marriages (BBC)

(ABOVE: Juliana and Esther Soi married in the early 1990s)
 
Homosexual acts may be outlawed in Kenya but there is a long tradition among some communities of women marrying each other.

This is hard to fathom in a country where religious leaders condemn gay unions as “un-African” - and those who dare to declare their partnerships openly often receive a hostile public reaction.
But these cases involving women are not regarded in the same light.
If a woman has never had any children, she takes on what is regarded as the male role in a marriage, providing a home for the younger woman, who is then encouraged to take a male sexual partner from her partner’s clan to become pregnant.
Her offspring will be regarded as the fruit of the marriage.
“I married according to our age-old tradition, where if a woman was not lucky enough to have her own children, she got another woman to honour her with children,” says 67-year-old Juliana Soi.
Sitting on armchairs placed in the shade outside her grass thatched home in Rift Valley’s Elburgon area, she tells me she married Esther in the early 1990s.
 
Esther, who remained demure during the visit and too shy to speak to me, is 20 years her junior and together they nominally have five children.
“You know children are like blankets,” says Juliana.
“And one needs to have their own blanket so that you do not have to go to your neighbours’ house at night to ask for a blanket since he will definitely be using his at that time.”
This customary arrangement - practised among Kenya’s Kalenjin (encompassing the Nandi, Kipsigis, and Keiyo), Kuria and Akamba communities - has come under the legal spotlight recently because of an inheritance case currently before the courts in the coastal city of Mombasa.
In a landmark ruling, the high court last year recognised that, in accordance with Nandi customary law on woman-to-woman marriages, Monica Jesang Katam could inherit her late wife’s property.
However, the relatives of the dead woman - who was the older partner in the marriage - are challenging the verdict. A large house in Mombasa is at stake.
If the appeal fails, Franklin Chepkwony Soi should have no difficulty in claiming his inheritance rights when he is older.
“I was born here at Juliana’s house and Esther here is my mother,” the 20 year old explains.
“This lady Juliana married my mother because she wanted some sons to inherit her property.”
 
He says he does not know who his biological father is - and is not interested to find out.
He adds that he has never experienced any social stigma and the small community in Elburgon accepts their family.
 
But his parents are at pains to point out that they do not have a sexual relationship.
“No! No! Nothing sexual takes place,” says Juliana, adding that the two women sleep in separate huts.
Pointing at Esther, she goes on: “By the time a woman like me decides to marry a young woman like this one, I must have reached menopause.
“At that stage any love activities are for the young woman.”
The couple laugh as she adds: “A woman my age is like an aged cockerel - too old to do anything.”
This mainly rural practice of a barren woman marrying another woman for the purposes of having children is slowly fading away.
In some communities in western Kenya, where modern fertility treatments are not accessible, polygamy is the preferred way of dealing with infertility.
A wife who is unable to have children will often encourage her husband to remarry so the family can have children.
But the Mombasa ruling could challenge this patriarchal approach and give woman-to-woman marriages a stronger footing in the modern world.

Kenya’s legal same-sex marriages (BBC)

(ABOVE: Juliana and Esther Soi married in the early 1990s)

 

Homosexual acts may be outlawed in Kenya but there is a long tradition among some communities of women marrying each other.

This is hard to fathom in a country where religious leaders condemn gay unions as “un-African” - and those who dare to declare their partnerships openly often receive a hostile public reaction.

But these cases involving women are not regarded in the same light.

If a woman has never had any children, she takes on what is regarded as the male role in a marriage, providing a home for the younger woman, who is then encouraged to take a male sexual partner from her partner’s clan to become pregnant.

Her offspring will be regarded as the fruit of the marriage.

“I married according to our age-old tradition, where if a woman was not lucky enough to have her own children, she got another woman to honour her with children,” says 67-year-old Juliana Soi.

Sitting on armchairs placed in the shade outside her grass thatched home in Rift Valley’s Elburgon area, she tells me she married Esther in the early 1990s.

 

Esther, who remained demure during the visit and too shy to speak to me, is 20 years her junior and together they nominally have five children.

“You know children are like blankets,” says Juliana.

“And one needs to have their own blanket so that you do not have to go to your neighbours’ house at night to ask for a blanket since he will definitely be using his at that time.”

This customary arrangement - practised among Kenya’s Kalenjin (encompassing the Nandi, Kipsigis, and Keiyo), Kuria and Akamba communities - has come under the legal spotlight recently because of an inheritance case currently before the courts in the coastal city of Mombasa.

In a landmark ruling, the high court last year recognised that, in accordance with Nandi customary law on woman-to-woman marriages, Monica Jesang Katam could inherit her late wife’s property.

However, the relatives of the dead woman - who was the older partner in the marriage - are challenging the verdict. A large house in Mombasa is at stake.

If the appeal fails, Franklin Chepkwony Soi should have no difficulty in claiming his inheritance rights when he is older.

“I was born here at Juliana’s house and Esther here is my mother,” the 20 year old explains.

“This lady Juliana married my mother because she wanted some sons to inherit her property.”

 

He says he does not know who his biological father is - and is not interested to find out.

He adds that he has never experienced any social stigma and the small community in Elburgon accepts their family.

 

But his parents are at pains to point out that they do not have a sexual relationship.

“No! No! Nothing sexual takes place,” says Juliana, adding that the two women sleep in separate huts.

Pointing at Esther, she goes on: “By the time a woman like me decides to marry a young woman like this one, I must have reached menopause.

“At that stage any love activities are for the young woman.”

The couple laugh as she adds: “A woman my age is like an aged cockerel - too old to do anything.”

This mainly rural practice of a barren woman marrying another woman for the purposes of having children is slowly fading away.

In some communities in western Kenya, where modern fertility treatments are not accessible, polygamy is the preferred way of dealing with infertility.

A wife who is unable to have children will often encourage her husband to remarry so the family can have children.

But the Mombasa ruling could challenge this patriarchal approach and give woman-to-woman marriages a stronger footing in the modern world.

(Source: , via reticent-romantic-deactivated20)

February 2nd, 2012

A girl can dream… can’t she?

I have fielded questions about my “12 step program” that I have for guys.  I think that you need to have standards.  More importantly you need to know what your standards are and be able to clearly articulate themYou won’t ever get what you want if you don’t know what it is.

So, back to my program.  The 12 steps are individualized to each person.  Meaning my last ex had a different set of steps than the one before him.  The steps, in essence are things that he needs to do in order to have a successful relationship with me.  I also have a set of steps for myself… in an effort to meet halfway on things.

I can’t then list the specific steps but I can however give a generalization of them.  I do this, one because someone asked me to and two because I think everyone should think about these things.  What are your deal breakers?  You need to know them going in so no one’s time is wasted & no one gets hurt.

  1. Belief in GOD & Karma (golden rule/respect)
  2. Educated
  3. Creative
  4. Strong (physically, mentally, emotionally, & spiritually)
  5. Hugger/Cuddler
  6. Good Communicator & Honest
  7. Goal Oriented & Driven - Well focused
  8. Compassionate & Patient
  9. Flexibility - Open (in life & thoughts)
  10. Sexually knowledgeable
  11. Independent & Responsible
  12. Decisive

Now of course there is a spectrum for all things.  I agree that there is no perfect person.  That is why I have the steps.  I allow for someone to grow with me in the relationship.  We may not be perfect for each other when we get together but if we are close we can get there through work.  My future mate just needs to be on the spectrum of those 12 things in order to have a snowballs chance in hell.

I have never had a guy be anymore than 50% through the steps… which I gather is why I am single.  I am hopeful though.  My soulmate is out there… somewhere…

But if I could build the perfect guy…

Can he have a body like Lenny Kravitz?  Cause that man… woo lordy… with a smooth nicely shaped chest…

Can he be at least six feet tall?  Cause sometimes I like to wear heels…

Can he have no addiction except being addicted to me?  Cause I don’t like competition…

Can he be well read & highly educated?  Cause life experience & work experience count as education as well…

Can he know how to cook but also like to do clean up when I cook?  Cause I hate doing dishes…

Can his words match his actions?  Cause I am tired of the mixed signals crap…

Can he be a motivator?  Cause a girl needs some motivation some times…

I’d build the perfect girl… but I don’t know about all that… smh…