Day 318

hi

• i hate double standards…
• guys don’t want a girl who does the same stuff they do, living by their rules…
• yet and still, guys also don’t want to do the old fashioned things that men should do…
• so i am confused. and it is a wonder that men complain about the chickenheads they end up with because i don’t know a single real woman who is going to put up with that.
• how do you want a girl who can be freaky in bed but don’t want a girl who has done freaky stuff with other guys?
• how is it that you want a girl who needs you but what an independent woman who doesn’t ask you for a thing?
• this is not to say that woman don’t do the exact same thing.
• one of my friends likes to say that if you want a person to behave a certain way you have to do the same for them… so if you want an aggressive person you need to be aggressive.
• but what if i want someone who is just aggressive enough to compliment my passiveness?  someone who is decisive enough to make up for my indecision?
• What is wrong with wanting someone to fill in the gaps?

A letter to my ex…

Dear past love…

And I would like the record to reflect that I was in love with you.  Any comment you thought was a joke when I talked about us getting married was not.  I could see it.  Some days I could reach out and touch it because it was that real in…

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Day 272 ~ Why don’t guys like to date anymore???

• Why don’t guys like to date anymore?  I mean seriously. 
• So I found my younger alter-ego.  It is amazing… I would be her if I had gone that route.
• I need to work on my bigger blog… randomness & pictures… (www.turtleberrypress.com if you are curious at all…)
• My kid is now playing soccer.  I am excited.  Well except about all the shit I now have to buy.
• And why is PUBLIC SCHOOL so damn expensive?
• I had french fries and gravy for lunch twice this week.  Fuck you all and your judgment.
• Back to the dating thing… I am meeting guys that I really kinda like and want to get to know better… that involves dating… not coming over to each other’s houses late at night just for sex and as little conversation as possible.
• My co-worker is making me go up to the work out room with her.  Pray for my lazy ass yall!

Day 243 

• so no… at this time i can’t see myself ever fighting for love or a friendship again… as much as i still value the two i have to accept the fact that every time i go to war i end up just learning that my cause was not even worth fighting for…
• low key romance makes me smile.  i am not a big fan of PDA.  i love observing a glance, a gesture, something someone thinks no one else saw… even better something they don’t care if someone else saw… it seems like a secret language at times.
• this short story i am writing has got my mind all messed up… i can’t even seem to choose a proper crush… oh well… maybe once i am finished it…
• sleep…

Crushes

*a twitter convo inspired this bit of rambling*

i miss having a crush
they let me know that i am still alive
blood pumping through my veins
hormones get to flowing
and my creativity gets moving
i mean it is hard to write about relationships and love
if you have no muse
granted i could write an epic novel on depression
but who the hell would want to read that?

i want to write about the warm chill that
dances through your body when you
see that special someone
the imagery playing in your mind
when they are in it with you
the throb between your thighs
when they are really in it with you,

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(Source: randombitsofsweetness.blogspot.com)